Ten-o'clock at night, I decided I couldn't take the agony any more. I had to shower. It would provide some relief, I had hoped. Little did I know it would 12 hours later I'd be holding my son in my arms for the very first time. My husband FINALLY got home as I was getting out of the shower a half hour later. I was happy to see him, not really because I was lonely, but because I was miserable. I told him, 'I know they probably won't keep me, but we really need to go to the hospital. At least they will give me a shot to help me get a few hours of sleep.'
I held no hope since we had been in three times already and sent home, but we got to the hospital by 11:15 or so. They started me in a triage room, I guess figuring that I wasn't ready for delivery yet. They took my blood pressure (160/93). They never took the blood pressure cuff off after that until after I had given birth. It went off every ten minutes. They also took the same blood tests my doctor took yesterday for pre-eclampsia. (My blood pressure had been 150/87 or something like that so it caused him to put me on partial bed rest which rapidly turned to full bedrest simply because getting up made everything worse) They were higher than the ones at my doctor's office, which caused concern. So that combined with the fact it was essentially my due date, and my blood pressure, they FINALLY kept me. After 3 weeks of endless 3-5 minute apart contractions, and three visits where I was sent home, and all the non-stress tests nurse saying they didn't want to see me anymore, It was finally happening.
They even checked me again around 2 am, and for the first time ever I progressed WHILE I was at the hospital. A whole centimeter! And it was by myself. No pitocin yet. At around 4 oclock they came back. I hadn't progressed much more so they did start the pitocin. With my blood pressure as it was and my liver enzymes like they were, they weren't going to mess around. 5 o'clock rolled around, and I asked for an epidural. I wanted so badly to go naturally, but when you are confined to a bed, and all the techniques you knew required being OUT of bed, the temptation became too great.
The nurse I asked must have recently taken the shift (I don't remember it clearly. most of that night was a blur. I remember being helped to the bathroom though) because she said, 'Oh all right, ew're going to consistantly monitor you because Epidurals have a tendency to lower your blood pressure.' Now if there was a reason to get an Epidural for me, THAT was it. Sure enough, it did lower my blood pressure... to a normal range.
They broke my water about 5:30 am. No one, not even me, expected how fast things would progress after that. Sure, I had hoped and prayed for a fast labor like my friend had had with both of her girls. But to expect it? No. To be honest, I probably should have expected it, given my body had been preparing for 3 weeks to shove a baby out. And that there had been many other miracles throughout my pregnancy. That probably should have set a standard. But no, still, I did not expect that only 4.5 hours after my water being broken I'd be holding my beautiful baby boy.
After my water had been broken time became even more of a blur. I'm not sure the exact time it was, but I think the clock said seven-thirty. I pressed the nurse button on my bed to ask her to help me flip over. I could feel my hip suddenly, and realized it was time to flip for my meds to shift to the other side. The nurse I don't think showed up till about 8 or 8:15. It seemed like an eternity is all I remember. When she did show up, she said before flipping me, 'Well while I'm here lets check you. Let's hope for big numbers.' I remember feeling for quite awhile now like I needed to poop, and I had told my husband that just before the nurse came in.
I will tell you, there is no thing as dignity for a pregnant woman, but even less so for a woman in labor. But I still tried to maintain my dignity so I always told the nurses at the last possible second that i needed to use the restroom...this time was no different. The nurse checked me while I felt like pooping, and then all of a sudden I heard her say, 'Those are definitely big numbers. You are fully dilated and effaced.'
If there was anything that could shock me more, I can't think of it. I sat upright, ignoring every needle in me (and the urge to poop) and went said, 'What?! Really?' I don't think the nurse expected me to be surprised to be honest. I think she expected me to be relieved. To be honest, I was relieved, but that wasn't the emotion that was in front of my mind. This was when she told me my doctor was in a c-section and didn't know much longer he would be so they would let me do a rest and descend while we waited for my doctor.
It wasn't until the nurse came back to tell me the doctor was done with his c-section that my husband finally wouldn't let me retain my dignity and said, 'My wife feels like she needs to poop.' The nurse just laughed and said, 'If you had to poop, you would have long done it by now! That's the urge to push!' Again, shock... I was ready to push? No way? This was really happening? I will tell you, I've never seen a room turn so fast. Within minutes that room had changed into a room ready to deliver a baby.
The nurse and I did a few pushes while we waited for Doctor Kaelberer to arrive. If I thought the hospital not keeping me was horrible, I had been wrong. Nothing was so horrible as wanting to push but having to wait for the doctor. (Thankfully it really wasn't that long. He came pretty quickly). The funny thing about the moment Jaden chose to come was it was only a couple hours before Dr. K's daughter had a kindergarten program. I heard the nurses murmuring things about me being a first time mom and how I'd take a couple hours and Dr. K would miss it.
Another surprise happened then. I only pushed three times before Jaden was born. My husband said, 'I kept seeing the head, and then I moved up to help you, and next thing I knew, he was out!' The thing was, it would have been fewer pushes but Jaden kept getting stuck, so eventually Dr. K had to do an episiotomy to get him out. 9:57 am and I had my baby in my arms for the first time, with nurses fussing over Jaden while he was in my arms. I didn't even notice as I was being sewn back up, my eyes were only for my beautiful boy.
Jaden had further surprised everyone, and been born at 6 lbs and 15 ounces. We expected him to be 8.5 lbs. My doctor joked it had been a good thing he wasn't! And yes, my doctor made it to his little girl's performance.
That day was the happiest day of our lives. April 18th, 2013. The day our miracle was born.
Happy Birthday my Jaden Leonard Losee. Hard to believe its been a year!
